Saturday, November 24, 2007 1:08 AM
i missed out on something i should have blogged quite some time ago.
dearest, it's really belated i know. but i hope you can feel these wishes from the bottom of my heart. that was the first time i showed you direct concern; a message to wish that everything is alright for you and that i still love you. i know you've been strong, but tired out by everything of this world. but i wish that just for me, you would continue perserving, holding on. you really hold the utmost position in my heart, and i hope you can feel this love from me, even if i do not show it. please, take care. <3please don't ask me who at all, i won't say it to a single soul. just know that this person is super duper important.
okay, anyways. i wanna apologise to
mark and
ciu fen, for being such an irresponsible person. really sorry. :( i was very tired, but i know that shouldn't be an excuse. and i'm very grateful for your forgiveness. ((:
so, GL briefing was okay. a bit messy here and there. but overall, it was still okay lah. (: i'm extremely excited about this event! 23 more days! :D
congrats to
fion and
badd, for a successful appeal attempt on being a GL! super happy for you two lah! :DD
rushed down to meet my
dad, his birthday is today. was supposed to be a long night, but some stuff happened. so .. changed location. but
leonard couldn't enter the place, cause he is underaged. so i accompanied him home. (:
dad had a really nice birthday cake though! $200. wow. but really really unique. (:
dad promised me that for my birthday! -beams!
to
you: i'm really super happy for you that you got back your stuff. (:
mental note:
maybe i shouldn't expect the same behaviour from everyone. i should learn to accept people's differences, and that their reactions might not be positive afterall.
sigh, i was a bit .. shaken. maybe it was because i was overly-sensitive. maybe it was because i expected better. maybe it was because you were too sharp with your words. but maybe it was really nothing much, and i'm making a mountain out of a molehill. bah. i hate to take stuff like these so seriously. but i can't help it; it affects me alot, little stuffs like that.it's just sad to feel that it never mattered to you, when i'm trying so hard.putting that aside, i am really happy these days. alot happier than back then. and it's all thanks to the people inside. from the ex-cos, to the subcomms. all my friends can see that, and i think they're really happy for me. -smiles.
to
subcomms: i hope you guys don't think i'm a hypocrite or whatever, trying to suck up to the seniors. i know i appeared out of nowhere in semester 1.2, and suddenly became closer to the more senior people in SU. but .. i don't know lah. i just felt that i can relate to them better. i'm sorry if i made you feel that way okay?
emphasis: i don't mean to say it's happening now, but i just wanna reduce the chances of people feeling that way.
and a clarification to something i've been hearing.
i did not quit dance just because of SU.please make that clear. it matters to me.
anyways. i wanna give special thanks to
gideon. (: who has been trying to help me in so many areas, teaching me so many things i need to learn. and most importantly, trusting and believing in me. thankyou. ((: <3
going to some event at ite simei with
claudine and a few other ex-cos. i'm excited! it's the first time for me, and i'm really hoping i can learn alot of stuff. (: thanks for giving me this opportunity. greatly appreciated. (:
i need time for myself. make personal changes, etc. so that i can be a better person. and i hope i can earn some respect for myself, because people feel that i deserve it. i don't want to be seen as someone who just wants to have fun, and play. i want to be seen as trustable, responsible, dependable and mature. please help me along the way okay? (:
once again, thanks for everything everyone. for the love you've been showering, for the concern you've been showing, for letting me know that you'll always be behind me supporting me, for understanding that i'm walking towards a certain goal and helping me. simply for everything.
<3
